We Were Never Meant To Do This Alone
Image credit: Sarah Conlan Photography
We were never meant to be doing this alone.
We cannot repeat this fact enough.
And yet, for many families, this is their reality, particularly this year with all that a worldwide pandemic has done to family and social structures. But it serves no one well to minimise the needs of our youngest and most vulnerable people in order to make the ridiculous expectations on their parents (and mother in particular) more manageable.
The fact that our babies and toddlers need us so intensely remains.
They simply do.
And we don’t repeat this to guilt families who are struggling with that. We repeat it because it is essential that we continue to bring light to the unreasonable expectations being placed on families by society.
It is inhumane some of the circumstances people are trying to raise their babies under and we must work to change the culture that not only allows it but tries to make it seem like it is the baby who is at fault when their family crumbles under the weight of all that is demanded of their parent.
If you are struggling with a lack of support, please take the weight of blame and guilt off your shoulders because it’s not where it belongs. You are struggling like any human would in your shoes.
It’s not your baby making life unreasonable, it’s an unsupportive society who places little to no value in the work needed to raise that baby and simply sees them as an inconvenience for you to manage out so you can do all the other things.
We are working really hard to change this and one of the ways we can get there is to not shy away from the truth of the challenge. As Amanda Donnet, from Spilt Milk Psychology says, ‘the solution to unrealistic expectations of mothers should not be unrealistic expectations of babies’.
We can and will do better for families moving forward.
